Rant

This is a poem from "Rant" a book by Cameron Semmens tiph you'll be proud to know that me and sean@ got both books and got them signed so ya can borrow a plenty when you return~~~

a current-er prayer

Our media,
whose art is manipulation
hollow be thy game.
Thy camera's come, it will be done
on Nine as it is on Seven.
Give us this day our daily sensation,
and feed us our fears
as we feed the fears of others.
Lead us on with misinformation
and deliver us from thinking.
For thine is the king-maker
with the power of the story,
forever and ever,
amoral.

Absolute Moron

This guy has to be the biggest moron out there...

This one needs an introduction, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:

"I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."

"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel."

"Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."

Randome Knowledge?!

The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually

clear.          

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Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

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Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."

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If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

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Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

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Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than    

left-handed people do.                                        

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The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which

they start. 

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Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or

it will digest itself. (YUCK!)

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The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

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A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and

down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.(who leaves

champers in their glass long enough to find out?)

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A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.

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On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily!

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Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear

pants.

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There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple

and silver.

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The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan". There was

never a recorded Wendy before

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The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War 2

killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

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If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will

instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

(Who was the sadist who discovered this??)

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Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w the film down

so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.

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The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which

stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your

thumb.(WHAT???)

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By raising your legs slowly and laying on your back, you cannot

Sink into quicksand. (GOOD FACT TO REMEMBER?? )

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Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin

Look-alike contest.

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Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

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Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson".

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The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book

most often stolen from Public Libraries.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space

because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them. (Not to mention the

other drawbacks to farting in such a confined space....)

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Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!!

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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred

and Wilma Flintstone.

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Coca-Cola was originally green.

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

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The state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%

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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400 

Piktures

Got bored so did these all the same pikture but its kool and i just want to show you sean@

Whats pink and red, screams and gets shorter and shorter....
..............
..............................
..........................................
A baby combing its hair with a vegie scraper

Thanman, Pam and Sam Van Dam the Tan Van Man

Sorry tiph i bought and underOath cd call it emo if you want but its ok, funny first thiong me and sean did was go through the book and point at all the emo piktures very funny some dead guy and a ghost but good cd.

I have never known rocks to be so interesting, myself, billy, thanman and mike went looking for some semi - precious gemstones mike will put them through his tumbler and they look awesome when thats done.

But at one point today we went down to the piggery near this big lakey thing and it smelt foul, downwind from it and the pigs is desgusting i swear close to losing my lunch, it was horrid but we found some cool stones was quite interesting.

Funny though for a substantial amount of time their and back we talked about food mostly greek and middle east stuff but also pizza and all the really nice stuff other countries make, but not aussie food its considerably boring apart from pies... mmmmm... pies!!! *slobbers everywhere*

Anyway i have raved enough so for sean@, tiph, angie and sara and anyone else who decides to visit post the oddest thing you've ever eaten....

As soon as i can be bothered to eat it mine will be bread + mars bar + ham

Face Lift

Got bored so decided to give my blog a facelift with the new blogger not as good as i hoped but it will do just fine

Whinging Time

I've decided first of all to winge about the fact that i was forced to attend school on the past wednesday and thursday and that my school is officially worse than a prison. And not only that but while attending school we had to endure the two hottest days this summer i not sure why it waited till school went back but summer has decided to arrive.

On a cooler note yesterday after trying to sell one of our friends by form of raffle ticket for 24 hrs. One student at school asked if they could through him in a trash can which was an interesting question. But for some reason noone saw the slave opportunity going for just 1 dollar. Considering they would prob be the only one to buy a ticket. But then with great addition to his self asteem his sisters friend bought him, so we bolted up to the tuckshop to buy some iceblocks.

While waiting at the so called "tuck" shop (a place where you couldn't buy a tuck or even a nose job?) We slowly collected money from people with leftovers bringing us to the total of $10 which evedently bought us an entire bag of iceblocks which we through at people while running around the school.

But it dosn't end the after exhausting our supply of ice blocks money wasting mitch decided to buy another so we went to the place where all were congregated and proceeded to throw thim in the air thus cooling the extremely hot day.

So we have decided to continue this free iceblock thing but probably not pay $10 a bag for $3 a bag items. So on this note i say DONT COME BACK TO SCHOOL!!! ITS TOO HOT!!!

And also Tiph when you read this you must tell me if the hidrants over there are really red and must publish a picture on you Jeke... Please

Question

So just to keep you amused i will post this and leave it up to your interpretation on who it is but i would say it looks like lil lerch but the heads too small so i am just going to settle with the fact that it looks like nerdy sean...
Who do you think it looks like?........
Dont forget to read down post below is quite amusing if i could be so bold as to say so

Holidays Ahead

If you do or dont know i going on Holidays soon and i decded to write everyone a to do list on there holidays:
1: Blow up something bigger than an aeroplane hanger and make sure it is full of toothpicks.
2: Create a wormhole in your parents walk in closet
3: Construct a working model of the great chicago fire without using fire
4: Light dylan's head on fire 3 times in succession (in other words as soon as he puts it out light it again)
5: Create a military organisation designed to stop office violations such as: finishing the coffee pot and not refilling, walking away from a paper jam, etc.
6: Attach a chain to tiphs leg and tie it to a rocket and set the course for america that way she doesent have to pay for airfares.
8: Complete a bachelor of modern sciences and then use your knowledge for world domination
9: Repeat no. 8 with your eyes closed.
10: Eat plenty of Nachoes!!!!

And if you dont i will send my mutant pack of alien monkeys which i created after going mad trying to cmplete all the tasks on you to rip your eyes out and suck your brains out throught eye sockets....
Have a nice Christmas

Lerchy

Post No: 14 (CONFIDENTIAL)

Alright i was thinking the other night about water restrictions and then it hit me like a ton of feathers. Tiph's LEVEL 3 remark at the end of each post is in reference to water restrictions as she has now moved to level 4. This leads me to my post. Isn't it funny how sometimes we can be completely ignorant to the meaning of something or just something and then when ya figure it out you feel real embarresed to find out EVERYBODY else knew that. Like another slightly different example... Nachoes Supertiph was explaining to me on friday the real way to eat nachoes...

Step 1: Nachoes + Lots of Salsa + Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots of cheese.

Step 2: Big dob of guachamole and sour cream on the side and dip the nachoes you pick up and scoop in one dip... Makes sense.

But Only NOW! and i thought ahhh stupid and especially with the level 3 and 4 thing which i am sure everyone else has figured out discussed and coincidently gotten OVER!

So what i would like to ask is for all your "Ahh your stupid, why didn't you see that" moments... we all know we've had them!!

TESTIFY

This post is super close to the last like two days apart but i was having a read in all the CD cover booklets and i was reading all the statements in POD, Testify and I thort they were worth posting. I'll list some of them below to ponder:

The wise
HOLD THEIR TONGUES
when you speak
the
TRUTH
___________________________________

My
SOUL
is alive
and
SO ARE YOU
___________________________________

I think
THE HARDEST PART
of
HOLDING ON
is
LETTING GO
___________________________________

It sounds like
WAR
to me,
PEACE LOVE
and
CASUALTY
___________________________________

Somewhere
IN YOUE WORLD
the
SUN
is shining
___________________________________

It's
WORTH MORE
than the
CHANCE WE'RE
TAKING
___________________________________

If you dont
STAND FOR
SOMETHING
then you
STAND FOR
NOTHING
___________________________________

When
DID THIS CROWDED
ROOM
get so
LONELY
___________________________________

THATS ALL.... coments?

The Post with Many Topics

Dont ya just love it when you have one of those awesome days, you know its going to be awesome even when you wake up and it pans out that way. I mean everything goes right theres the right breakfast in the cupboard, lunch is good, dinner rocks teachers go easy and its just cruisy. Good things happen and bad things dont those days rock dont they.

Well any way how good is it that Day of Fire is coming to AGMF, and superchic[k] are back which is sweet also it gunna be awesome lets just hope Kylie from Gladstone doesn't show up cause she might b coming for me this time! Ahhhhh!! Yer gunna be awesome i hope DOF thats awesome.

I have the challenge of the week for all the readers of this here blog (being mainly tiph and sean) you must come up with the best word for your phone number like you know *dogdy accent*
"shannons just dial 19shannons for car enthusiests!" or 13gogo dunno what thats for but yu get the idea! ne way i gotta think of one so i will post with my majical mystical number name by next post and if i dont then throw and chinese needle snake in my general direction!

pointless arrows!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Send this e-mail to thirty of your friends and your true love will realise they love you!
Copy and paste it dont forward or people wont read this

Lerchy out *Salutes*

Term 4 has Begun!!

BELATOR or CAPTUS who will reign aye?

It's good to be back at youth hurting ourselves even more than ever after a couple weeks off. Captus did win but we all know Belator will reign supreme. I say all Belatorians must help contibute and everyone who reads this tell every1 else we need to pick a maskot for out tribe. Balatorians will destroy Captus we all agree, woot.

Now uncle J, can i have a word with you in the K, right away? ...Why yes you may.

Man fullhouse is a top show i never did watch it when i was younger but it awesome. Its full of popcorn get rid of it! lol very good.

Man saturday cartoons are tops- Kim possible? funny mmmm... ne ways random picture time.

Outbreak 06

I am Terribly Sorry to inform you that as of NOW this blog is officially finished....

Joking i am updating... Finally!

Outbreak 06 was AWESOME mahogany star for it yer met some Kool people and had a sweet time. We were singing the diarrhea song all camp but by the end the vegies had picked it up and were making stupid poitless verses and i was ready to explode *head explodes in cartoon like fashion* Ne way mike spoke well, i finally met the awesome HAYHOE... man he is such a bogan, cool bogan, funny cool random bogan, Frullet cross-dressed 3 too many times (he dress like a girl 3 times).

STORY TIME... we just finished eating the best chicken curry it was sso nice and we spun our shairs to the serving bay reading for seconds, Tobin comes back puts his plate down then heads back to check if we can have seconds, Denny gets up starts EATING tobins curry. Tobin turns to see ryan... mouthfull of curry with his caught redheaded look on his face and sits down. TObin calls for seconds every1 BUT ryan.... Ryan burst into flames and runs out the door screaming but by this time we were already up at the couner grabbing some chow!!!
Good stuff!

NEW PARAGRAPH

Any way was a good camp sad tiph was not there... *tear* and stupid pony bailed too... moron! no tear for you... *points and farts* well cant wait for outbreak 07, term 4 of youth, christmas holiday, agmf 07 2 headliners realeased on monday, skillets new albumn and GO the broncos!!!!!
I wore my jersey proud on Mondaypity for VIC but good no sydney or melbourne teams won its the outer state conquer!!!!!
AIghty i off gunna go build a foot outa dog tonails and copper wire... leave you with a joke...

Whats the difference between a camel?
................
................................
..................................................
...................................................................
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................................
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One of its legs are both the same!!

May the SKUNK be with you!

artwork

The following images are just some stuff i have done in fireworks enjoy...!


th...th...th...thats all folks
lerchy

Science... is wierd

Random stories NOW in COLOUR

OK random story time, this one I wrote in science (figures a story about a science lesson in one nnnnnn...). Anyhow here it is.... wait i gtg get it.

I walk into my science lesson, there's something different. I look around the room in each of the 6 corners was a security guard, each tall and broad standing there silent and motionless. Seth waved his hand in front of one of there faces, still he remained motionless. George poked him in the face, the guard swiftly slogged him in the face then returned to his motionless stance. We all sat in silence in the fear of receiving the same punishment as Geroge.

The teacher then explained the reason for the security; she told us that a pshyco science student stealing maniac was on the loose and all classes were asked to stay on alert. This scared many kids and some climbed on there tables and fended anyone who came near them with there chairs, and on kid jumped out the window(second story building). The guards managed to calm everone down by performing Beethoven's 9th syphony using corn and camel tongues. We appluaded but one kid clapped so hard he broke his hand off and was shot.

As the teacher began the lesson i heard a rumble but i just assumed it was my stomach as no one else noticed. I put my head down for a second but when i looked up Ryan was gone! I knew it wasn't the phsyco though as the teacher had told us he hated Red. But WAIT! his hair is Orange not red! This continued though, everytime i looked up someone else was gone but no one not even the security seemed to notice. This continued until everyone but myself, the teacher and the security were left. It was then i got up and yelled "CANT YOU SEE EVERYOEN IS GONE!." Then i felt a hit over he back of my head antd i lost consiousness.

I awoke too music and bright lights... a party? All my friends and all the other kidnapped kids were there. The pshyco had taken all of us to a party with free walrus juice. We partied for ages until mmmmm.... lets say..... Moe turned up and used all the pool water to make a cake that gave us all dihorrea and we all skipped school for three; 1,2,3 weeks.
Then the prince and princess rode of together and they all lived happily ever after.

This story was brought to you by Fishy Joes Walrus Juice, 'Ride the Walrus'.

Lerchy

Why QUEENSLAND is better than New South Wales

Bushfire Bound NSW




Beautiful QLD















This post is purely to highlight why our state is SO much better than the state of origin LOSERS from the south - they are all below:

We have REAL landmarks like Great Barrier Reef NSW has Oprah House..... who likes Oprah?

We are the MAROONS a real colour NSW is a sissy pretty BLUE.... huh?

We never say die and WON ORIGIN! NSW ummmm.... LOST!

We actually have sunshine..... NSW... well they have a muggy mopey state

We enjoy our safe beaches NSW beaches so bad they made show on one

We know how to play REAL footy NSW goes crawling to Andrew Johns

We worry bout the now and future NSW says oh we won more in the past...

We want the NOW not the PAST

So Queensland is clearly better than New South Wales but we love ya NSW its just sydney we dont like and Tasmania (Not in NSW i no another state i no) Lets not got there.

LERCHY

Why me?

I was listening to a song by Kids in the Way called Scars that save and i know Mr Sean Taylor has already highlighted this sond but it is a sweet song and to read the lyrics visit: http://scrampunk.blogspot.com/ thats seans well anyway.

Its just one of those things I love bout Jesus and just to think about that he loved me some much I so much to die for me and no way, not for one second NEVER do i deserve that never. I just think why did he choose me i dont deserve it not one bit. It was my fault that he died but he wanted to and i just cant ever get my head round why but he did and he wanted too for me....

Just place comments and what u love most about him...

Lerchy

WARNING UPDATES COMING SOON

Fiji Mission 05

Howdee Doo

Hi i was just having a look through the pictures from my mission trip to fiji last year and gee it was good to remmeber all we did over there. Looking at all the smiling kids and all the good seeds we planted in their hearts(not literally). It was sweet at the end of the mission we asked all the kids up who wanted to follow Jesus and many kids came up it was awesome. Although i'm not sure how many really made a comitment i'm sure some were really sincere and that was awesome.

I just wanna challenge all of you who love Jesus and wanna do something radical that short term missions are awesome. A great experience and you know the God is working through you and well it ROCKS.

Below are some pics from the trip: