Rant

This is a poem from "Rant" a book by Cameron Semmens tiph you'll be proud to know that me and sean@ got both books and got them signed so ya can borrow a plenty when you return~~~

a current-er prayer

Our media,
whose art is manipulation
hollow be thy game.
Thy camera's come, it will be done
on Nine as it is on Seven.
Give us this day our daily sensation,
and feed us our fears
as we feed the fears of others.
Lead us on with misinformation
and deliver us from thinking.
For thine is the king-maker
with the power of the story,
forever and ever,
amoral.

Absolute Moron

This guy has to be the biggest moron out there...

This one needs an introduction, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:

"I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."

"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel."

"Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."

Randome Knowledge?!

The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.

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A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually

clear.          

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Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

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Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."

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If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

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Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

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Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than    

left-handed people do.                                        

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The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which

they start. 

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Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or

it will digest itself. (YUCK!)

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The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

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A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and

down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.(who leaves

champers in their glass long enough to find out?)

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A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.

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On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily!

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Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear

pants.

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There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple

and silver.

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The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan". There was

never a recorded Wendy before

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The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War 2

killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

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If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will

instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

(Who was the sadist who discovered this??)

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Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w the film down

so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.

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The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which

stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your

thumb.(WHAT???)

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By raising your legs slowly and laying on your back, you cannot

Sink into quicksand. (GOOD FACT TO REMEMBER?? )

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Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin

Look-alike contest.

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Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

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Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson".

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The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book

most often stolen from Public Libraries.

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Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space

because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them. (Not to mention the

other drawbacks to farting in such a confined space....)

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Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!!

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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred

and Wilma Flintstone.

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Coca-Cola was originally green.

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

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The state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%

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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400